Leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow.

Travelling on Christmas Eve and arriving in Las Vegas at 8:00 PM. My parents aren’t arriving until 11:30 PM. This makes it 3 hours and a half at the airport’s bar. My parents will be arriving to a drunken child waiting for Christmas to begin. 

Hate messages are a joke.

Especially when they call me out for being an asshole during my teenage years. Sorry, I was young. Sorry that I was a “hopeless piece of shit” and an “ugly asshole whose fake”. Look at you now, calling me these name through a message on a social media. Who are you to judge me at this moment in time? Do I have any connection with you in any way now? Have you seen me grow up over these years? Go ahead and say what you want to me. Keep the messages coming. I’m not a “hypocrite” but through the messages that I have received, it looks like you are the one being the hypocrite. “Fuck you” are hurtful words and it looks like you are the one being the “bully” now. I guess someone still has some growing up to do. I know I have. 

Thankful.

Enough said. I don’t know where to go into details because I am thankful for everything that has ever been given to me. Without the love and support from anyone who has every given me hope, I would have failed a long time ago in life. I would not be the person I am today without certain individuals in my life.

Some Tumblr people are just perfect.

Not fair at all. 

I find hickeys sexy.

Not the types that cover your whole body but the little ones. 

Keeping things positive.

I feel sorry for some people.

People who can’t do things for themselves. At this stage in life, where college should be our #1 focus, may individuals still find it difficult to do things for themselves. They are so relient on other to do things and to help them with their every need that once they enter the working world they will struggle. Not just struggle but they will find it extremely difficult to get through their daily routines in life. Grow up. Learn to do things for yourself. Do you and be you. Don’t depend on others because they will not be there for you forever. 

A blowjob would be just fine.

Sex sounds so good right now.

I’m bored with my life.

Can something new and thrilling just come into it. 

A cuddle session is needed soon.

Laying in bed holding someone tight. Netflix and Christmas lights on. Candles lit. Sneaking kisses here and there. Laughter and wrestling. Tickling and playful bites. 

I need to put myself out there.

I’m tired of being single. 

I get so scared sometimes. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I want to be able to find happiness within myself but all I do is cringe in fear. My body gets tight. My heart goes crazy. My mind gets turned into a never ending pit of darkness and distress. When will I ever come to a peace of mind? I just don’t get myself sometimes. I just want to escape from everything and hopefully everything will just fall into place. 

Why does nobody like me?

I try my best but never a positive outcome. 

Way too exhausted to try anymore.

But giving up is not something I do.

Pushing through and continuing on.

Doing my best to keep my head up.

There’s nothing else I can do but try.